Back to the Past…
Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …
We’re back to a TV antenna at the palatial Foster estate.
Concerned with ever-rising costs of cable and satellite options, my bride thought we ought to consider going back to an antenna.
Our younger daughter had cut the cable a while ago and said she liked her options…and the lower cost.
So we made the jump.
So far, so good.
Cheaper, too.
I harken back to 1992 and Bruce Springsteen’s “Human Touch” album with his sort-of “novelty” song, “57 Channels (And Nothin’ On).
It’s about a guy so consumed by his success in the material that he misses out on the true pleasures of life.
“I bought a bourgeois home in the Hollywood Hills
with a truckload of hundred thousand dollar bills.
Man came by to hook up my cable TV.
We settled in for the night, my baby and me.
We switched round and round till half past dawn.
There was 57 channels and nothin’ on.
Fifty-seven channels and nothin’ on.
Fifty-seven channels and nothin’ on.
Fifty-seven channels and nothin’ on.”
He then buys a satellite dish.
But his lady leaves him and ends up destroying his TV with shots from his .44 Magnum.
(Just like Elvis).
After being arrested for disturbing the peace, the judge says, “What’s your defense?
“Fifty-seven channels (And Nothin’s On).”
When I was first exposed to “the tube”, there were but 3 options, NBC, CBS and ABC.
There was also National Education TV which became PBS in 1970.
I used to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of out TV before school and watch a show that discussed the world’s great naval battles with chalkboards and pointers.
Don’t remember the name of the show but it held my attention in my post-sleep stupor.
Then color television arrived on the scene.
I remember our first color TV when I was a kid.
It was a big, dark brown behemoth with a metal cabinet that shocked you with static electricity when you shuffled across the room to adjust something.
Remember the “Click, click, click” of the TV antenna rotor in the living room?
Then it was followed by cable and satellite, digital and streaming.
I also grew up on the pre-remote era when you actually had to walk to the television to switch channels or adjust the volume.
Now we have two remotes in the living room and one each for the master and guest bedrooms.
About one a month, I lose one of the living room removes in my recliner.
According to my sources, since the Springsteen days, here in the US, we have roughly 180+ different stations to choose from via broadcast, cable and satellite.
How many does the typical household view?
About 17.
The top 5 choices are NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox and Fox News Channel./
I remember thinking how cool it was when all-sports and weather channels came out.
But I’ve drifted away from them when “political and social” talk started to replace game highlights and weather maps.
I can also remember when MTV arrived and in those days they actually played music videos.
When you look at the ranking of viewership, the outlets that offer older shows seem to do quite nicely.
One of my favorites, the History Channel, does fairly well.
I also like the “funny stuff”.
Looney Toons, Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd and the Roadrunner are classics.
Matter of fact, Bugs and Company probably introduced me to more classic music that anything else.
“MASH” is one of by all-time favorites thanks to great story lines and superb casting.
You can’t go wrong with good murder mysteries and detective shows.
My wife loves the Hallmark Channel and anything involving home improvement.
We both like “Maine Cabin Masters” because of the work and the scenery.
Our first TV was a small black and white model we bought on time shortly after he were married.
I have computer screens bigger than that model had.
I remember watching NBA basketball on that set and and the players were so small.
Now were have this 56 inch diagonal “drive-in movie screen” hanging from the wall in the living room.
But the sound is better than those speakers you used to hang on your car window.
Still lots of choices on the television for the Fosters but not quite as pricey as it used to be.
Back to the past, right?