Cruise Reflections …

Johnny-on-the-Spot … by John Foster …

My wife and I just recently returned from a 12 day southern Caribbean cruise with scheduled visits to Jamaica, Aruba, Columbia, Panama, Costa Rica and the Cayman Islands.

I have some thoughts of our time away.

This is the 2nd Christmas season cruise we’ve taken.

I think if I never hear a “song of the season” with a calypso beat, it will be fine with me.

I started to think that “Feliz Navidad” was the only Christmas song some folks had.

On-ship toilets are women favorites because we guys have to put the lid down before flushing.

If you flushed it while sitting on it, would all we see is your face and hands?

Commercial air travel is not much fun for me.

Taking off my shoes and removing my belt to make sure I’m not toting explosives just bugs me but I can “age out” soon on the shoe thing.

I also find “facial recognition” software unsettling.

Who is it that who says, “He’s okay. That’s him. Let him in”.

We flew on an airline that does not have reserve seating.

It was the opposite of Northeast.

I’m not a fan.

You get an alphabetical and numerical designation boarding pass which most people either choose to ignore and forgot letters and numbers from grade school.

I like pre-boarders.

They are masters at avoiding eye contact and some think if they put their lunch and a soft drink bottle in the empty seat between the aisle and the window, you’ll assume that seat is taken.

“Move that Big Mac or I’m going to try hatching it” is how I let them know I am taking that seat.

In-flight snacks consisted of seasoned, salty pretzels (perhaps 12) and a drink served in a vessel about the size of my cupped hand.

The pretzel seasoning was somewhat like Chex Mix but it didn’t include Corn, Rice and Wheat Chex, pretzels, tiny bread sticks, nuts and Melba toast.

Carry-on luggage guidelines get abused for the most part.

And, in the unlikely event of a water landing, we all get our blow-up life preservers to place around our shoulders..

The really good air crews make the safety demonstrations look like a Rockettes show.

In the ship dining areas, food was plentiful and varied but I’m convinced no one has come of with a way to prepare powdered eggs to make them tasty.

On-board entertainment was flashy and loud for the most part.

We did hear performance by a gal who impersonated other female singers and she was very good.

We also liked the trivia games along with the puzzles and quizzes you could pick up daily in the library.

If nothing else, our vocabulary was widened.

At two destinations, prior to disembarking, there were messages posted telling you leave your flashy jewelry behind and don’t get separated from your fellow passengers.

I wonder if travelers to New York, Chicago and Los Angeles get similar advisories.

Hot tubs and pools on the upper decks can get rather “wavy” when the seas are rolling.

The Panama Canal is an amazing thing to see.

Those original locks have been operating for over 120 years.

It’s connected to the world’s largest palindrome.

A man, a plan, a canal, Panama.

Reads the same, left to right or right to left.

Pretty cool.

Not sure why the Carter administration decided to give the operation of the canal to Panama but we (U-S) gets the first call if “military help” is needed.

Officials said it cost more than a half-million dollars to get our ship though the locks.

There were times at night when the breezes were so stiff that I’m glad the railings were secure.

You get to see some beautiful sunsets, sunrises and moonlight on the open seas.

I also saw my first flying fish dancing in the wake of our ship.

Most of the cities we visited all seemed about the same.

Narrow streets jammed with way too much traffic.

Street vendors can be like flies when you step off your tour vehicle.

The “photo bombers” in festive and colorful garb are quick to “flash and dash:” for a little cash.

In many locations, you can bargain and barter over prices but with the street hawks, avoid eye contact or they’re on you like “stink on a dog”.

We drove to the Raleigh-Durham area of North Carolina to meet up with my sister and fly to Fort Lauderdale to catch our ship.

That city started as a series of forts built during the second Seminole War is named after 2 brothers, William and James Lauderdale.

Fifty years after the forts were abandoned, the city was developed.

The “Venice of America” has become the world’s third-largest cruise port.

Driving home, we met a waitress who claimed to read money for words and such written on the bills.

I think she couldn’t believe we left her that much of a tip and she was checking to see if the money was counterfit.

All in all, it was a fun time and about all we all came home with were lots of dirty clothes and fond memories.